I’m a reasonable intelligent guy. I scored at 1450 on my SAT’s, and that was back in the old days, when SAT scores really mattered, not these bitchy little “how does multiplication make you feel?” SAT questions that you kids have to answer nowadays. I’m not an idiot. I only mention this to impress you.

So, after a week of nearly complete downtime at my awesome shared hosting plan (I won’t mention who it was with, but it rhymes with Ream-host.com), I decided that I could probably build a faster, more reliable server than the one I was paying $5 a month to share with 3000 porn sites and world-of-warcraft clan pages.

“Self,” I thought to myself, “You should become a server administrator!” After all, when I had made the switch to OSX, I started messing around with the terminal, and found that I could use handy little commands like
cd ~/bin; ls
and
cat readme.txt

Hell, wasn’t I basically already a unix guru? How hard could it be to whip up my own linux server?

Unbe-damn-lievably hard. Harder than a Chuck Norris roundhouse to the man-junk. Oh Jesus, come down off the cross and shoot me in the head hard. What the hell was I thinking?

It turns out, I’m a command line idiot.

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